Saturday, July 24, 2010

My brand of feminism :)

Let's get something straight, I don't like cooking, but I love being able to feed my family. There was a time when I cringed at the thought of my daughter remembering me hovered over a stove or frantically washing dishes before bed. But now I'm not sure I'd ever NOT want her to think of me in that way. She will always know I was there, as will my son, in a sea of other possible choices, I was there for them. When I decided to "do the stay at home mom thing" my interests were meet with dismay and scorn by my peers. I admit, even considering getting married was out of character for me (I'd bailed on multiple previous engagements before my husband finally clubbed me over the head and drug me away by my pink crew-cut), so obviously people that know me well were surprised to find out when we were trying to get pregnant (the first infant I ever held was my daughter) .
Then came the fun part, First there was the "concerned looks" and the "why would you do thats" when I made my decision to breastfeed known. My dad clipped articles on the benefits of breast milk for me, I guess he felt I needed scientific evidence to defend myself with. Then, when I let it slide that I was going to be cloth-diapering...... well you would swear I'd committed some unspeakable crime against modern motherhood.  Some people acted like my choice was a phase I'd hopefully grow out of. I can remember well-meaning friends and family members making comments like "you'll get so much done when Mayzi starts school" or my personal favorite " you can go back to work while the kids are in school" (which is REALLY funny, because if I had known I wasn't working I wouldn't have worked so hard). Well I've been happily married, and at home with my fabulous kids and fantastic husband for 8 years, and it's by far the most liberating life experience I've had. I think I just now figured out why they're so bothered by my choices, I think they're offended that I've taken all that they've sought to eradicate and made it the basis for my own personal feminist movement.  I added a few fun books to read to this article.  They helped me over what my husband lovingly calls my "femi-nazi-hump".  Check out "The Proper care and feeding of a husband" and "Embracing Motherhood" and if your really feeling squirly, read "Women who make the world worse",  I recommend these books for entertainment purposes only, I can't really say they've influenced any decisions I've made concerning my lifestyle, but they are all good reads. 

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